Watchmen for the Morning...

"Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26

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"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:17-18

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"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning

more than watchmen for the morning."

Psalm 130:5-6

And so it begins...

During my quiet time Monday morning, I was praying about the day and the coming semester. Along with seeking to be a more effective witness for Christ, I pray this semester is highlighted by a content heart. In other words, I don't want to be a complainer. There is so much to complain about and I constantly indulge my desire to disagree with how my teachers lecture, go through their syllabus, give tests, give quizzes, don't give lecture notes, grade papers, and the list could go on and on without even touching on the parking situation at Old Dom! I was reading in Philippians 2 earlier this week and the Lord brought verses 14 and 15 back to mind (plus I put stars all around it)...

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"Do all things without grumbling or questioning..." Now, I know this is super straightforward and a verse you memorize in second grade, but the second half of the section was so illuminating. Why should we do all things without grumbling or questioning? "...that you may be blameless and innocent, Children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked generation, among whom you shine as lights of the world."

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Granted, complaining holds many other strong implications, one being that it is a direct assault on God's character, as we are basically disagreeing with the situations our loving, sovereign Lord has placed us in. But, this verse ties in with the burden the Holy Spirit has pressed on my heart over the past few months to be a more joy-filled witness for Christ and more passionate about the truth of the Gospel. It is so easy to complain, especially because every student on a college campus does it. The Lord revealed to me how often I used this medium to try and blend in on campus, using complaint as a conversation starter or means of small talk, even when I didn't really feel what I say! The Lord has called us to be salt and light in a dark world, blameless and innocent in a crooked generation. By not questioning and grumbling about assignments, teachers, or how tired I am when everyone else is, is another way I can be a witness for Christ. Salt and light. Different. Set apart from a crooked generation. This doesn't necessarily mean correcting everyone or standing up for my teachers as much as just biting my tongue or not muttering a "yeah" in agreement. There are so many more better conversation starters than, "Can you believe that test isn't graded on a curve," or "She's actually going to lecture the full 5o minutes and not let us out early!" Maybe something more like, "So what are you doing this Sunday?" or "Do you go to a church around here?"

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So there are some quick, incoherent thoughts...I've written that verse on a sticky note to put on my steering wheel to review each morning as I get out of the car to head to class. I've gotta go now, though, because it's getting late I've been putting off this reading assignment for American Government! Peace.

uNpLuGgEd

Psalm 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

But, I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with his mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.

Unplugged was the theme of Saturday night's singles' meeting. Eric's talk was on Psalm 131, and it wasn't so much about the "evils" of modern technology, but rather the distraction they present in our walk with the Lord. From facebook/myspace, AIM, surfing the internet, e-mail, and blogs, to TV, radio, photoshop, music, fantasy football, and cell phone usage, our minds are constantly bombarded with noise and preoccupation. Not that these things in and of themselves are bad, but so often we find our identity in the institution of technology and connect it to our relationship with God.
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In Psalm 131, David seeks to block out the noise that continually distracts his soul. Do I quiet myself before the Lord? This is so hard because the culture is so conducive to distraction and noise! In Matthew 14, Jesus goes off to a mountain to be alone with the Lord. He was seeking the fellowship with his father that he needed and loved. These are some of the richest times we can have as Christians, five quiet minutes before the Lord as our day begins. And the enemy knows this! He seeks to eliminate those opportunities and he does it well. That is why we must make intentional decisions to quiet our minds in the face of all media and internet options that vie for our attention. Instead of checking my e-mail or phone for texts or missed calls first thing in the morning, I should just keep the laptop closed and the phone in my purse. Instead of poking around on facebook or reading blogs before I go to bed, I should be reading the Word. Driving also presents perfect opportunities to be quiet before the Lord. Instead of calling up a friend or listening to music (even worship songs or messages), I should be praying and seeking to hear the Lord. Intentional decisions. ...
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David says he doesn't know what's up, but what he does know is that he can spend time alone with the Lord, quieting his soul before him. At the end, Eric challenged us with the same idea that Mike Bullmore challenged him with...to block out a three hour chunk of the day and spend it somewhere secluded with just you, your Bible, and God. He said that the first two hours will seem like forever, but during the third hour, you won't want to leave. I hope to do this soon, but three hours seems so ominous and looming to me! But, I know what Eric says is true and I look forward to that third hour.

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Afterwards, we had an "unplugged" karaoke night with just Jordan, Matt, and Eric on acoustics and ocassionally those little hand drums. It was crazy fun and one of those things you just do once in your life! Katy Van took some very fun pictures!

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You knew this was coming! :)

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Lessons from Jonah

My church is currently in the middle of a series on the minor prophets of the Old Testament. The theme is "Return to Me," and each message highlights aspects of God's character in the midst of his judgement. I was a little uneasy about this new series and pridefully unexpectant, given the "unexciting" nature of some of the books. Yet, these past few messages have been some of the most powerful, encouraging, and applicable messages that I have heard.

Last Sunday, Keith Breault preached on the book of Jonah. Pretty much everybody is familiar with the children's Bible story of Jonah and the Whale and the cartoony pictures of Jonah kneeling in the belly of a whale, praying to God by candle light in nice clean robes. Keith blew my elementary conceptions of this book out of the water. We so often get preoccupied with the great fish and push God off to the side. God is in fact the key character and the whale is like the grips in movie credits, as Keith likened it. :) The book is all about God and how he interacts with his people behind the scenes.

One theme that emerges is God's greatness. There are many phrases in the book of Jonah that point to this..."But the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea," "...and the lot fell on Jonah," "The sea ceased from its raging," "And the Lord appointed a great fish," "And the Lord spoke to the fish," "God appointed a plant," and "God appointed a worm." Nothing that has been made is out of His jurisdiction. Every living thing is governed by Him.

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God's steadfast nearness is also so clearly illustrated. Something is only steadfast when it has been tested. Like, parents can't have steadfast patience when their kids always obey. What does the Lord do when we test his nearness, when we shake our fist at him and forget him? He ordains specific circumstances to bring us back! When Jonah flees, God's steadfastness is tested. Yet, He continues to go after Jonah and redemptively disciplines him to bring him back.

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When Jonah reluctantly did go to Nineveh, he spoke six words of prophesy...six! (in the original language) "Yet, forty days, and Nineveh shall be over-thrown!" Not very gripping to a thriving, wealthy city. Yet, Nineveh repented! It was about God and his power, not Jonah! God could have easily brought about that kind repentance through another prophet, but God was after Jonah's heart. This has two huge implications. First, the Holy Spirit alone has the power to change hearts, not the persuasion of speech. Even as he spoke, Jonah resisted the message he preached, and the Lord still moved on the hearts of the Ninevites through his words. So often I feel inadequate and not smart enough to persuade people of the Gospel. But my words can save no one! It is the Holy Spirit's working alone! I am only called to obey the Lord's command and prompting. Secondly, it wasn't ultimately about saving Nineveh; it was about Jonah's heart. Likewise, God ordains specific circumstances to get to our hearts. He wants me. He wants my heart and communion. God has prepared good works for me to bring about his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, but I have to daily present myself to the Lord! Instead of seeing quiet times as a duty, I have to see it as the time where I need to interact with the living God and hear from him.

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Likewise, do I see the way God sees? God established Nineveh as huge and prosperous. Who established Virginia Beach and Chesapeake? It is full of people, people he is sustaining. All the prosperity and wealth I see in my city is all God's. He wants them to worship him, but they don't because "they don't know their right hand from their left" (4:11). As soon as Jonah prophesied, he left and set up a little camp on the side of a mountain to watch the Lord destroy Nineveh. But, the Lord still pursued Jonah's heart (Chapter 4). Just as we wander from the work he has called us to, he draws us back. Am I like Jonah? Do I have no compassion for those who are lost? So often I shrug it off, thinking, "If God wants to save them, He can. It doesn't matter what I say." or, "Those people are such sinners! There is no way they are going to give up their drinking, partying lifestyle!" But what does Christ say on the cross? "Father forgive them! They know not what they are doing!" I have to see them as Christ sees them. And the great God of the universe wants to walk me through this, to use me to bring about his kingdom.

Clashing

Here's some fun pics from The Clash...enjoy!

Our group

The girls

Classic!

Co-Ley-Man and Heath

This is us trying not to get wet in the rain. It rained most of the time, but it made for some pretty great memories! Haha, on the last morning a guy in my group commented that he thought it was funny that the rain made everybody's hair change...I thought I was going to die laughing!

By Thursday night, all our minds were jelly. We came up with some pretty creative ways to exercise the "not thinking" parts of our brains...obviously!

Four man push ups

I really don't know what to call this...

Yeah, Heath! Me and Mag are at the bottom...that's me dying on the left

THE CLASH: Aftermath

I really have no idea where to begin! There's no way to adequately sum up five days of passionate teaching, challenging discussion groups, late night worship sessions, new friends, times of group prayer, and human pyramid building, all under the influence of sleep deprivation, coffee and coke, and cafeteria food. I know this is going to be the first of many posts as I wade through the depth of the information that was imparted to us this past week and work through the application. I will definitely go into more detail on some of my favorite lectures from Jeff Purswell and Nathan Sasser, but for now I want to share some after- thoughts.

Sitting here now, I can't believe the conference is already over and a new week has begun. I was so ready to come home, but now I miss the constant fellowship and learning. But that's the thing, The Clash wasn't about an experience. It wasn't about learning a whole bunch of heady information to make us all smart Christians. It wasn't about "recharging" before the upcoming semester. It was about Truth. It was about being equipped to see Christ in all things in order to engage the world with the gospel and its implications in every aspect of our lives. In the words of Jeff Purswell, "Our ultimate goal in all of this is to be more faithful disciples of the Savior, loving him more passionately, building our lives on his truth more consistently, testifying to his saving work more fruitfully, in order that he might be glorified more fully." All the information that was crammed into every corner of our brain is not meant to stay in there...it is meant to be applied and used to help us proclaim the gospel more effectively in our academic surroundings.

That, my friends, terrifies me! Sharing the gospel is scary enough, but actually intelligently defending my faith brings so much fear. Hmmm, but fear of what? Near the end of last semester and into the summer, the Lord began to slowly reveal how I had been resisting the prompting of the Holy Spirit in this area. This condemnation turned to gratefulness that the Lord had revealed this to me so soon in my college career. I began praying about being a more faithful, effective witness, so I was really excited when the door opened for me to go to The Clash. Although I recognized my sin, I didn't really know its root until my group leader prayed for me in regards to this struggle on our last night at The Clash. My sin was rooted in fear of man. I had become so wrapped up in blending in that I tried to ignore the opportunities to share, serve, or reach out to certain girls. I began idolizing the high opinion of my classmates and shrunk within myself to keep from drawing any undue attention. In reality I was stifling the light of Christ and not allowing the truth of the Gospel to shine through me.

The Clash has renewed my passion for truth and has caused me to think more deeply about doctrine and my worldview. I am so excited to get back school with this transformed mindset to engage the world, not sit in the back and blend in. Keep in mind, though, I do not believe for one second that any amount of my persuasion or knowledge can "enlighten" any one's heart or mind. Rather, I am super excited to continue to build my life on His truth and to be a more faithful disciple, for His glory alone. Lord, here I am! Use me to bring about your kingdom on earth as it is in heaven! In one of Jeff Purswell's closing messages, he laid out some helpful reminders and considerations about education and vocation as we return...God has regenerated me for good works, specific good works that He has prepared before-hand. The works He has for me are perfectly designed for me and I have been created for those things! As I am sinfully tempted to fear missing these good works or inadequately walking through them, I am reminded of Jerry Bridges's words, "God's will for my life is not finally dependent on my coming through for God." Oh Lord, thank you for saving me and opening my heart to the gospel. I pray that this upcoming semester would be marked by your faithfulness and that you would give me an unrelenting passion for the Truth. I pray for grace upon grace and opportunities to defeat pride and fear of man. Thank you for you grace! To you be all the glory!

This about sums up the conference... :)

haha!...It's kinda hard to read, but it says, I just know that I am thinking. I exist. A thinking thing is thinking, a thinking thing exists. Something is thinking and exists.